Tournament of Torture
by Avacados are evil
Summary: Who has a least favorite character? i have several. So... Why not make them suffer? suggestions welcomeRated for safety
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. But I do own my strange sleeping habits! I also don't own Charmin, Con-air, WE, Pepto-Bismol, Wendy's, Taco bell, or any thing else you've heard of before!

I think Dr. Ichigaki sucks and should die very painfully several million more times. Bakken too. And while we're at it, Elder Toguro pisses me off with his evil little laugh. Let's just make him share the sinning tree. . Okay, and that wraps it up!

Random spectators 1-57 : She's crazy! But so cool! Kill Ichigaki! Kill Bakken! Kill Toguro (elder)! Raaa!

Well now that my random spectators left over from the dark tournament are here, let us begin.

Where's the start button?

Oh, here it is! (Pushes Button)

Amanda: I'm Amanda, and I'll be your host for this new tournament of torture.

Sensui: It's humanity's darkest indulgence, but what the hell. (shrugs and walks off)

Yusuke: Wait a second! Who exactly are we torturing?

Hiei: Anybody the audience hates.

Kurama: Supposing she doesn't disagree. (points at me)

Kuwabara: Please tell me we're not killing me.

Koenma: Just because you're not her favorite doesn't mean she'll torture you.

Genkai: She's killing off the worst of the worst, possibly for a second time.

En (M1): Oh this will be fun to watch!

Amanda: Well then, let's bring out the number one most hated on the list! Bakken!

Yusuke: Oh this WILL be fun to watch. (Grabs popcorn and sits with En, Ryo and Kai)

Bakken: (Appears in gust of sweat fog. Eww.)

Jin: Oi, it's the one with smelly wind!

Touya: Yeah, seems to be.

Bakken: What? Oh crap. I'm gonna get killed again aren't I?

All: Yep!

Bakken: Crap. (is shoved into the ring)

Kurama: Revenge is sweet. Now, what shall be your fate?

Amanda: To make this interesting we will let you choose from three fates, but we won't let you know what they are until you pick the door! (evil laugh)

Bakken: Uhh…. Door number… 2?

Amanda: What an excellent choice! George tell the man what he's won!

George: You've chosen… (Drum roll) DEATH BY EXPLODING TELETUBBIIIIIEES!

Bakken: NOOOOOOOO!

(a door opens and the Teletubbies are released into the stadium)

Random Spectators 1-57: YEAAAA! Dipsy is my favorite! Woooooo!

Teletubbies: (get in the ring) Eh ooooooh!

Bakken: Get AWAY from me!

Tinkie Winkie: (following Bakken) Tele-hugs!

Po: Ahh hugs hugs!

LaLa: (throws her giant orange ball) Haha! Catch! Haha!

Bakken: What the..(is smacked in the face by the orange ball)

Dipsy: Silly man haha! No catch ball with faaace!

Teletubbies: Hahahaha!

Po: Don't worry silly man!

Lala: Give tele-hugs make ALLLLLL better!

Tinkie Winkie: YAY!

Bakken: NO! NO HUGS! PLEASE! (frantically runs from tubbies)

Dipsy: (panting) Silly man run too fast.

Po: I know! NooNoo! Come NooNoo!

NooNoo: (comes)

LaLa: Hooray!

Teletubbies: (all get on the NooNoo)

Bakken: What the fuck! What is THAT!

Teletubbies: Time for tele-hugs silly man!

Bakken: NOOOOOOOOO! (is glomped by tubbies)

Teletubbies: Time for tubby bye bye!

Bakken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

HUGE explosion and flames that are red, yellow, green, and purple

Random Spectator 1-57: w00t!

Kurama: (Is happy)

Amanda: And so ends round one! And now, a word from our sponsors!

Really fast announcer guy: This brought to you in part by speed racer. Oh ho.

(Commercials)

Announcer lady: Tonight on W.E.

He was a small town mouse with a dream.

He was a sexually confused city ballet mouse

Together they made dance hall history

The producers that brought you the academy award nominated movie "The Rabbit Habit" now come to you with this thrilling tale of

Love

Passion

Hot Gay Mousey Sex

Tragedy

AND DANCE!

Ben and Abigail; Gay Mice In The City

(Rated nc-17 for language, violence, and strong sexual content)

(Next commercial)

(White screen. Yusuke walks onto it holding toilet paper roll.)

Yusuke: Between fighting demons, maintaining a life, and ditching school, I have no time for an itchy ass.

That's why whenever I have to wipe I choose Charmin.

It beats the hell out of that other scratchy leading brand toilet paper, and never leaves anything behind!

(Next commercial)

Lady's voice: Tired?

Koenma: (nods)

Lady's voice: Too much paper work?

Koenma: (Nods)

Lady's voice: Then you need…. Quick wrap from con-air! Instantly transform your hair from that every day blah, into an interesting assortment of twirls and twists!

Koenma: Wow! I feel better already!

Really fast announcer guy: Warning do not leave in hair for extended periods of time. May cause baldness and in extreme cases, decapitation.

(End commercials)

Amanda: So how is it?

Does it suck?

Flames shall be used for other forms of torture.

If you like it, or would like to request a death, please review!

Co-authored by: Shy McFly and me.

Amanda: And we're back!

Julia: Yep, I finally get to talk in this one.

Amanda: Not a lot though, cause you refuse to be the announcer in my place

Julia: Stupid bitch.

Amanda: HEY! I may be stupid, and a bitch, but… wait… wait a second…

Julia: While she tries to get a coherent thought together, let's bring out our next contestant. Dr. Ichigaki!

Random Spectators 1- 57: Booooooo! You suck! And you're ugly!

Dr. Ichigaki: The odds of me dying are very low.

Amanda: Um.. Oh! I may be stupid and a bitch, but he's ugly! I can learn!

Julia: (Pats Amanda's head) Good moron.

Amanda:

Dr. Ichigaki: Well then, I suppose I can pick a door as well?

Amanda: Go ahead mole man.

Dr. Ichigaki: Well, I pick door number one!

Julia: Good choice! George!

George: You've chosen, Death by rabid En, Ryo, and Kai fans!

Dr. Ichigaki: The chances of them having a giant fan following are very low.

(Door opens.)

En, Ryo, and Kai fans: (Are a huge swarm of people) GET THAT UGLY BASTARD!

Dr. Ichigaki: AHHHHHHH!

En, Ryo, and Kai: (Face fault)

Ryo: I wonder how many are fans of me?

(One girl is wearing a Ryo shirt.)

(The rest are clad in 'I love En' or 'I love Kai' clothing)

Ryo: Well, it's better than none I guess.

Amanda: (Has an 'I love En' shirt,) Die Ichigaki, Die!

En: I'm flattered.

Kai: (is stunned.)

Ichigaki: (Is being carried to volcano that is carved into an En, Ryo, and Kai version of Mt. Rushmore.) What are you doing?

Fans: You're going to be a sacrifice!

Ichigaki: NOOOOO! (Falls into lava)

Fans: Hurrah!

Random spectators 1-57: Where did the volcano…? Oh never mind. WHOOO HOO!

En, Ryo, and Kai: (still shocked)

Fans: Now then, Let's kidnap them!

Julia: (Pulls lever that closes gate.)

Fans: Nooo!

Amanda: (In normal clothes, and somehow in the stadium) Well then, until they leave, we can't let in the other contestant. So without further adieu, commercials, and time to plan!

(Commercials)

(In boring office)

Man: Gee Kurama, how DO you get such nice hair?

(Music)

Kurama: I've got the urge! (holds up Herbal essence shampoo)

(End commercial)

(Next commercial)

Singing guy: Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea.

Mitari: Yay Pepto-Bismol!

Really fast announcer guy: Warning, side effects may include, gas, lock jaw, gingivitus, sluggishness, genital warts, swelling of the face, itchy watery eyes, cramps, an urge to do the chicken dance at strange hours of the day, spontainious combustion, death, and in extreme cases, stuffy nose.

(End commercial)

(Next commercial)

(crappy music plays in the backround)

(goes to scene just before they enter maze castle where they walk in a line)

Cingular, raising the bar.

(End commercials)

This by the way is where I can say whatever I want.

Just in case you were wondering why it wasn't over yet.

You can request any character death you like.

I just, might not want o kill them. And If I do, Julia still has to agree.

But still, you probably don't hate most of the people I like, so just request to your hearts content!

Julia: They still aren't gone?

Amanda: Nope, looks like we'll have to do the half time show.

Julia: Yah, oh hey , the commercials are over!

Amanda: Welcome back to the Tournament of torture!

Julia: Where we do what we want to whom we want, when we want!

Amanda: And now, since the En, Ryo, and Kai fans aren't gone, we've decided to have… A half time show!

Julia: Um, what exactly do we have planned for the half time show?

Amanda: sweatdrop Uh… Hey, you know what, I think there was another commercial still!

Julia: Hell no. We're putting this halftime show right now.

Amanda: But who's gonna do stuff? We don't have an act!

Julia: You… have a point.

Amanda: Well, I do know ONE band we could use.

Julia: Who?

Amanda: we could Get McFly transported here all the way from England!

Julia: And what would that do? It would just bring ore fans running in!

Amanda: Well we could use Dir-En-Grey. I love them, and they would scare off anybody that didn't.

Julia: Okay then, it's settled! Here's Dir-En-Grey with their song, Macabre!

Dir-En-Grey: (sing song)

En, Ryo, and Kai fans: (Run away)

Amanda: (Head banging)

Julia: (ignoring)

Dir-En-Grey: (Finish)

Amanda: Oh, can I have your autographs? (puppy eyes) (Gets autographs)

Dir-en-Grey: (disappear)

Julia: Well that sucked. I mean, I expected it to be… longer.

Amanda: Well **I** liked it. Anyway, Our last contestant, Elder Toguro!

Elder Toguro: Ehehehe! I guess I'll have to go with the final door. Ehehehe!

Amanda: (earmuffs) STOP LAUGHING!

Julia: George, tell the man his fate!

George: Death by, BAD JOKES!

Elder Toguro: Ehehehe!

Amanda: AHHHHHH! II BURNS US! (tries to rip out ears)

Julia: Well Amanda, you get to tell the jokes.

Amanda: Really? HURRAH!

Elder Toguro: Ehehehe!

Amanda: (Has on earmuffs) What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pogostick?

(crickets)

Amanda: Really big holes!

(crickets)

Elder Toguro: (Arm blows up) What!

Julia: Ah the power of bad jokes.

Amanda: What's big, yellow, and weighs 2 thousand pounds? A giant canary!

Elder Toguro: (right foot explodes) AHHHH! Stop it! STOP IT!

Amanda: What's green and has wheels?

Julia: What?

Amanda: Grass! I was just kidding about the wheels part!

Elder Toguro: (leg explodes) AHHHH! STOP!

Amanda: What do you get when you cross a porcupine and a balloon? Pop!

Elder Toguro: AHHH! (other foot explodes)

Amanda: Knock Knock.

Julia: Who's there?

Amanda: Interrupting cow.

Julia: Interup-

Amanda: Moo.

Elder Toguro: (other leg blows up) THE PAIN! THE HORROR!

Amanda: What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

Elder Toguro: (other arm explodes) STOP IT!

Amanda: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? HOLD IT'S NOSE!

Elder Toguro: (body blows up) AHHHHH!

Amanda: And the topper! What's brown and sticky?

Random spectators 1-57: What? Oh ew, Amanda, that's gross!

Amanda: A STICK!

Elder Toguro: (Head explodes) (is completely gone)

Random Spectators 1-57: THAT WAS GREAT! Oh my cousin has a MILLION of those! Ding dong the laugh is gone! Hurray!

Amanda: And so ends the Tournament of torture!

Julia: Yep! See ya later, bye-bye!

Puu: PUU!

Amanda: Take it away really fast announcer guy!

Really fast announcer guy: This story may or may not continue depending upon the number, content, and nature of reviews. If you'd like to request a death and style of death, please do so by reviewing. No En-Ryo-and Kai fans, Random spectators, bands or announcers were hurt in the making of this fic. Brought to you in part by Speed Racer, Oho.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Well Looks like I've got requests! (cheers) Alrighty… Kuwabara (thinks) It's possible. Juri, done, and Reisho (happy dance) Goody! Three new people to torture, ah… this is the life, oh… I don't own YYH, I did own the idea for Ben and Abigale, don't ask, and I don't own anything you've heard of before. So, Without further adieu, The next three contestants! And a special thanks to Littel country Girl (Kuwa and his death style), shippoufan (Juri and her death style) and RinkuAmanuma (Reisho).

Amanda: I'm your host Amanda!

Julia: And I'm her co-author and sister, Julia!

Amanda: Well lets see… Three new people! Oh, and before it happens, this is only for the sake of humor, so please don't get mad at me! (praying position)

Random Spectators 1-57: WHOHOO!

Julia: And our first contestant is... KUWABARA!

Kuwabara: Hey! I thought you said you weren't going to kill me!

Hiei: Apparently one of the reviewers had some sense.

Kurama: Erm.. I'm sure it won't be… Too bad. (sweatdrop)

Amanda: Well Sorry Kuwa, but you've been requested! Now let's see, something involving a meat cleaver… hm… AH! I've got it. George! (whispers)

George: Kuwabara, you've just been given, DEATH BY TONBERRYS!

(Door opens dramatically revealing a single Tonberry with a star over it's head. )

Kuwabara: That's all? Geez, I could beat that puny thing with one swing of my spirit sword. (slices Tonberry with spirit sword.)

Tonberry; (Is unaffected) (Pulls out a meat cleaver) …

Hiei: Ah, this is quality entertainment.

Kuwabara: Uh oh. (Runs)

Tonberry: (throws star)

Kuwabara: AHHH! (falls) Why ME?

Tonberry: (proceeds to violently and gorily beat the living crap out of Kuwabara.)

Julia: Damn.

Amanda: Suddenly I want to play FF7… (pulls out playstation2)

Random Spectators 1-57: Oh, ow, damn. W00t! oh… (cheering)

Kuwabara: (Is a bloody mess on the ground)

Tonberry: (Puts away meat cleaver and calmly walks away)

Hiei: (has an I-love-Tonberrys shirt on) There goes the greatest fighter in the world.

Amanda: Alrighty! Well it wasn't overly terrible. My concience won't be mad!

Jimminy Cricket: What the hell was that? Not so bad? Why I outta… Hey HEY! (is stuffed in a bottle)

Julia: Amanda… the tournament…

Amanda: (roasting bottle over a fire) Huh? Oh, Right… Uh… We'll be bac kafter these messages.

(Commercials)

(First commercial)

Keiko: (On cellphone) Yeah, Yusuke, you're not doing stupid things again right?

(car pulls up)

Itsuki: (In ridiculos outfit with gigantic fake jewelry) (Tackles Kaiko) Poser mobile says you outta prepaid minutes.

Keiko: But I just Bought minutes!

Sniper: (In equally ridiculos outfit) Fees dude fees.

Amanuma: (you guessed it, another stupid outfit) 25 cents to connect.

Itsuki: Plus an extra dollar a day.

Sniper: (Breakdances badly)

Keiko: Whatever. (Goes to buy different service stuff)

Guy: Getting burned by your wireless connection?

Woman: Buy our phones, because if you don't people in hideous fake jewelry will tackle you.

(End commercial)

(Next commercial)

Iwamoto: (doing random stuff)

Koenma: That's Mr. Iwamoto, the teacher. He sees everything that goes on at oSariaski Jr. High.

Iwamoto: No running in the halls!

Koenma: But can he see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Iwamoto: No. Now go home this is no place for little toddlers.

Koenma: (vein pulses) No, because it had cinnamon sugar swirls in every bite!

Iwamoto: Go home I said. (mutters) Stupid talking babies)

Koenma: (smacks with cereal box) I'M NOT A BABY!  
(screen goes to rainbow-y thing)

(Next commercial)

Genbu: (sitting in a tiny little chair in the middle of a white room)

Voice: Skin as tough as stone?

Genbu: (Nods)

Voice: Being insulted by the cooler demons that everybody likes?

Genbu: (Nods)

Voice: Then you need Stone-away skin cream! It will instantly soften skin up to 99.9!

(Bottle appears)

Genbu: (Uses lotion, and melts)

Vocie: Stony skin beware, stone-away will be there. (Really fast) Do not rub on rocks. Do not get near rocks. If you are made of stone, do not audition for this commercial.

(End commercial)

Alrighty! See that little GO button? Press that and give me characters! This is too fun not to continue! (puppy eyes) Please?

Amanda: And we're back!

Julia: Well, really we never left, but whatever.

Juri: (Appears) I'm gonna take over now cause I'm a fish-woman!

Amanda: Juri?

Juri: Yes?

Amanda: Piss off.

Juri: HEY!

Julia: Calm down Juri, we need you here actually.

Juri: YAY!

Amanda: George!

George: You've been sentenced to…(drumroll) Death by Totally Spies!

Juri: What?

Amanda: (Evil grins) Oh this will be fun.(Personally, I have nothing against it.. but…)

Julia: (Presses button)

Amanda: (Shoves Juri into ring)

Juri: I don't wanna be killed! I'm too pretty!

(Giant T.V. lowers into ring)

Koto: REVENGE! (straps Juri into chair) This is for stealing MY job! Ha! (disappears)

Juri: (eyes are taped open)

Amanda: And now… (presses random buttons on remote)

(Totally Spies flashes onto the screen)

Juri: AH!

Random Spectators 1-57: LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY!

Puu: (Sets up barrier) (actually it's an even bigger T.V. That shows Juri's reaction but…)

T.V.: (Totally Spies keeps playing)

Juri: It's not right!

T.V.: (It just keeps going)

Juri: (Starts to drool)

(Four hours later)

Juri: (Drowns in own drool)

T.V.: (Explodes from terribleness)

Amanda: Crap, that was expensive! (whines)

Julia: (looks up from 'How to be mean magazine') Huh? Oh. Great yeah.

Random Spectators 1-57: HURRAH! She's dead!

Koto: (shifty eyes) I'll just um… give her a proper burial. (flamethrower shines in the sun)

Amanda: Fine with me!

Julia: (has Amanda Voodoo doll because of earlier comment) Yep.

Amanda: Ow. Ow. (grabs voodoo doll) ow.

George: Well since the Voodoo doll has interfered, I'll say it. On to commercials!

Really fast announcer guy: This program brought to you in part by speed racer, Oho. I'm a little teapot short and stout. Boogers. Ha ha. I talk to fats for you to know what I'm saying. Nyah nyah foo foo.

(Commercials)

Really fast announcer guy: Do you talk to slowly?

Normal announcer: Yes.

Really fast announcer guy: Want to be a really fast announcer?

Normal announcer: Yes.

Really fast announcer guy: Then come to Really fast announcer guy's school for wanna be Really fast announcer guys. We teach you all the basics, such as down playing sever side effects. Making robberies sound not bad. And super speedy speach courses. As well as tounge twister technology. Among others. Remember, ou can do it too.

Really fast announcer guy#2: Warning: You really can't we're too cool for you biznatches.

(End commercial)

(Next Commercial)

Kuwabara: I'm an idiot. Like many others out there, this has affected the way people see me.

Elder Toguro: Ehehehe…(is zapped)

Kuwabara: So that's why there is a new therapy for idiots, people with stupid laughs, bastards, and many others along those lines.

Dr. Ichigaki: I (zap) What the…? (zap)

Kuwabara: Zap therapy! Good for all (zap) Likely to work for most mildly extreme causes.

Dr. Ichigaki: (zapzapzapzapzap)

Kuwabara: (grin) (zap)

(End commercial)

Ha ha! The after commercial break! If this one turns out shorter, don't be sad, I can always add more characters… or should I re-use them? I could you know, but that would be in the far away future. Please send all requests/flames in the form of comments. Thank you.

Amanda: And we're… Still here! Now since we did one last time, We're not gonna have a half time show this time.

Julia: Basically, we're broke and we're leaving a donations hat by the entrance of the stadium.

Amanda: ;;;

Julia: Okay, and I know Amanda was DYING to kill this guy last time, but I said Dr. Ichigaki first.

Amanda: I've thought about this one's death for a loooooooooong time now. (since I first saw the episode where he hit Touya, the bastard) And the only fitting punishment is….

Julia: Wait! Let him in the ring first.

Amanda: Oh. (presses button and Reisho is dropped into the ring)

Reisho: Eh?

Amanda: The only fitting punishment is… Being cloned and killed 100 times!

Julia: And you will clone him… how?

Amanda: Julia, let me have my fun.

Reisho: Sht. (is cloned)

Amanda: Clones 1-10 death by hamsters!

(Reisho clones 1-10 are eaten by hamsters that look suspiciously like Hamtaro)

Randopm Spectators 1-57: Hamsters rule!

Amanda: Clones 11-15 will be repeatedly kicked in the groin by Touya clones!

(1-15 are killed in said fashion)

Touya: (sniff) I'm touched.

Amanda: Clones 16-30 will be eaten by spiders!

(Clones 16-30 are pulled apart by spiders)

Spiders: Whee Food!

Amanda: Clones 31-50 will be killed by um… me. ;;;

(Clones 31-50 are killed by various weapons wielded by Amanda)

Julia: I think that voodoo doll was a mistake…

Amanda: Clones 51-70 will be killed by natural disasters.

(Disasters happen, clones die)

Earth: Ah. That was fun.

Amanda: Clones 71-98 will be killed by RinkuAmanuma.

(RinkuAmanuma releases select torture upon said clones of varying types)

Amanda: See? It's semi-interactive too! And clone 99 will be killed by Julia, cause I'll bet she's bored!

(Julia sits on clone until it dies)

Amanda: I KNEW she could smash my lungs! Oh, and last but not least, the original Reisho will be killed by…( drumroll) AVACADOS!

(Reisho's mouth is stuffed with avacodos and he pukes to death)

Random spectators 1-57: YAAAAAAYYYYY!  
Amanda: (bows)

Julia: I have to say Amanda, out of all the deaths so far, I think that's the best.

Amanda: Thank you, thank you.

Julia: Alright, and so ends another installment of…(crappy horror music) The tournament of torture.

Amanda: Really fast announcer guy?

Really fast announcer guy: No Tonberry's, Televisions, or cloning devices were hurt in the making of this tournament. The Reisho clones did not live, and are completely gone, no rampaging Reisho clones are going to attack, don't worry.

Amanda: Until next time! Bye-e!

Amanda: So?

Julia: So…?

Amanda: (sigh) Was it terrible?

Julia: I don't think it was too bad.

Amanda: Not you! The reviewers.

Julia: Oh, well they probably think you've mauled heir ideas more than you've injured the specified characters.

Amanda: …(pout)

Julia:

Kuwabara: Why doesn't anybody love me?

Amanda: Because, and don't take this the wrong way, but it's because your hair looks like a cheesy poof.

Kuwabara: WHAT?

Julia: Well she's right.

Hiei: Hn. I thought you knew. You're even stupider than you look.

Amanda: Hey, I think this is getting too long.

Julia: Alright, then stop typing.

Amanda: Oh. Well that would work.

Kuwabara: (mumbling about cheesy poofs)

Hiei: (has lost interest entirely.)

Julia: Bye!

Amanda: Review! Oh, and um… Bye!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, but if I did, well there would be nobody to torture would there?

Sorry, but evil pygmy mummies are too good for Roto, and I've uh… never seen those. TT Sorry Tai-dye, but he will be killed.

Amanda: Well let's see, more reviews! Let's see… oh to the reviewers, old and new, (HUG), okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system, ON WITH THE FIC!

Julia: Chill.

Amanda: ;;;

Amanda: And welcome back to TOURNAMENT OF TOURTURE!

Random Spectators 1-57: YAY!

Julia: --zZz

Amanda: … Julia.

Julia: --zZz

Amanda: Julia.

Julia: --zZz

Amanda: JULIA!  
Julia: 00 ? WTF?

Amanda: Now your lines?

Julia: Huh? Er right lines… uh…

Amanda: Oh forget it! Er, yeah, uh… DON"T HURT ME!

Julia: Amanda?

Amanda: Well I'm just saying, I want to prevent angry people before they uh…

Julia: Get angry?

Amanda: YEAH!

Julia: Anyway, yeah, don't kill her… that's my job.

Amanda: Aw Julia I lo… wait wha-?

Julia: Moving on! Seems we have new requests!

Amanda: (hugging reviwers)

Julia: Er… anyway, our next contestant, by popular demand (2 people ) KARASU!

Amanda: Eh? Wait NOOO!

Julia: Too late!

Amanda: Damn.

Karasu: (Is dragged into ring) What the hell am I doing here?

Amanda: K-k-k-KARASU! (runs up and jumps on him)

Karasu: I'll kill you.

Julia: Again, I am the ONLY one who gets to kill her.

Karasu: Er sorry. Why does she like me anyway? I'm a total bastard.

Amanda: But you look so cool!

Karasu: Uh… sure.

Julia: You're a good character in the game.

Karasu: Ah.

Amanda: (sigh) (goes back to chair) Oh well, the show… er fic must go on. BRING IN THE CHEESE WHEEL!

Random Spectators 1-57: WHOO CHEESE WHEEL.. wait.. cheese wheel?

Karasu: Cheese… wheel?

(Giant cheese wheel is lowered into ring)

Amanda: (drool) cheese…

Julia: It's mutant cheese.

Amanda: Damn.

Cheese: (arms pop out with plastic sporks) ((Thank you evilishmidget-chan!))

Karasu: 00;;; I'm screwed.

Julia: Yep!

Amanda: Commence death!

George: Hey, he didn't pick a door…

Amanda: George, piss off. (pushes button)

Cheese: (starts to spin toward Karasu)

Karasu: It's just che- (is rolled over by cheese) (That means the sporks got him)

Amanda: It's MUTANT cheese!

Julia: Good! (gives Amanda a cookie)

Amanda: (munch)

Karasu: HELP! (rolled over) SOMEBODY! (again) PLEASE (and again)

Cheese: This is soooooo boring.

Karasu: Forget this! If I'm gonna die, it's going down with me! (pulls off mask and jumps at cheese)

Cheese: What the- (Is half eaten by Karasu)

Karasu: Ha! Mutant my… (sways) What? (turns green) Oh no. NOOOO- (sporks poke through his stomach) (is dead)

Random Spectators 1-57: HURRAY! Go sporks, go cheese!

Amanda: (sniff)

Julia: Amanda…

Amanda: (Sniff) ACHOO!

Julia: (covered in boogers) EEEEWWW!

Amanda: I feel better now!

Julia: I'LL F KILL YOU!

Amanda: GEORGE HELP!

George: Hmm… what was it you said? Oh yeah, piss off. (reading book)

Amanda: TT

Julia: ROLL COMMERCIAL!

(Commercial)

(store with almost empty shelves with axes)

Younger Toguro: What am I doing here? Again? I should be dead.

Bui: What am I doing here? These axes are all dull, all seven of them.

Seriyyu: What am I doing here? Ah, world domination. Yes… no… I work here.

Announcer: Go to (insert website thing here) where you can get all your weapons instantly, with a wide variety to choose.

(End commercial)

(Next Commercial)

Eikichi: Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. ME-ow.

Announcer: Buy Meow mix today!

(End commercial)

(Next commercial)

Botan: Hey I'm in a commercial!

Koenma: Why?

Botan: … I don't know!

Koenma: Well neither do I.

George: (walks out with Arby's symbol over his head) I'm hungry.

Koenma: Oh, maybe we're supposed to say something about the hat?

Botan: Ah, what is it? He must be thinking Arby's!

Announcer: Eat here, uh, we have sandwiches!

(End commercials)

Amanda: Huzzah! The in between zone! (twilight zone music)

Julia: Why is there twilight zone music in here?

Amanda: Well I don't know! Someone must have switched it for my Atreyu CD!

(Twilight zone episode)

Guy: You are about to enter… (Atreyu's lip gloss and black comes on) What the hell is that?

(Back)

Amanda: Oh well. Hey let's see if we can get them to switch it for a mission impossible CD!

Julia: Ha ha. No.

Amanda: Oh you're no fun.

Julia: Good!

Puu: (in really high pitched voice) This fic is co-authored by Shy McFly.

Julia: 00

Amanda: (huggles Puu)

Puu: (Is turning bluer than he was)

Amanda: That was so cute!

Really fast announcer guy: This fic brought to you in part by speed racer oho. Also, how could you. I thought we had a bond. You'd better pay me extra if you expect me not to be Emo about not getting a hug.

Amanda: Alright geez, chill dude. (hug) There.

Really fast announcer guy: Thanks.

Amanda: And we're back!

Julia: Again, WE never left.

Amanda: SHUT UP!

Julia: No. (: p)

George: Julia, shouldn't you get off her now, eventually she has to breathe.

Amanda: Gee thanks, cause I really need help AFTER she beat the crap out of me.

George: You're welcome.

(To violent for television… or… computer screens whatever)

George: (has several large lumps on his head and a frying pan sticking out of his neck)

Amanda: I feel SOOOOOOO much better now.

Julia: Geez Manda, did you have to kill him?

Amanda: Huh? Oh, he's not dead don't worry! He'll just be in an immense amount of pain for… the rest of his life!

Julia: ;;; Greaaat.

Amanda: Okay and out next contestant, specially resurrected (like most of out contestants) for this tournament, ROTO!

Random Spectators 1-57: BOOOOOOOOO!

Amanda: Now here's someone I can ENJOY killing!

Julia: --;;; You are so messed up.

Amanda: I know!

(A large crate is dropped into the ring and Roto pops out)

Amanda: Welcome scuzzball!

Roto: Where is my button?

Amanda: Really dude, where, nobody wants to see your ugly purple chest!

Roto: Nobody wants to see your ugly ningen face!

Amanda: 0T what?

Julia: This could be bad.

Roto: You heard me, Ugly Ningen Face.

Amanda: (gets a Cheshire cat grin) Well if you don't like my face I'll just have to remove your eyes!

Roto: Eh?

Julia: Amanda, it's okay, we'll kill him I swear, just don't do anything… stupid.

Amanda: (creepy head turn) What ever do you mean?

Julia 00;;;

Amanda: Roto, since I feel bad for George, pick a door. Death? You pick the death door? George, tell him what he's won!

Roto: I didn't say…

George: (still beat up) Ugh uh rah ugh.

Amanda: Very well, DEATH BY AMANDA!

Roto: What? You can't hurt me.

Random Spectators 1-57: We beg to differ.

Julia: (nods)

Amanda: DIIIIIIEEEEEE! (jumps onto Roto and starts scratching)

Roto: OW! Damnit you –Ow!- ningens and your –OW!- sharp nails. OW!

Amanda: This isn't working. (Jumps on Roto like a trampoline) Common, die!

Roto: OW! Knock it off! Let me up so I can che… uh defend myself!

Amanda: NO! (Has pulled out scissors) Time for a haircut!

Roto: What?

Amanda: (Cuts off Roto's ugly purple hair) And your nails are too long!

Roto: No, not my nails NOOOOO!

Amanda: Too late. I've already cut them off.

Roto: What? (looks) (it's true) NOOOO!

Amanda: Christ, you can't take a little thing like that? Psh, you're wimpier than a ningen PRESCHOOLER!

Babies: Goo! Gah gah gooo! (translation: HEY, We're stronger too!)

Amanda: Sorry! Wimpier than a ningen… (thinks) PHETUS!

Random Spectators 1-57: Ew.

Babies: Goo.

Amanda: Back to you, A-HA! I've got it!

Roto: What are you going to do?

Amanda: SUPER AMANDA STAPLE ATTACK! (pulls out staple gun)

Roto: S. (Is killed by round of staples to the brain)

Amanda: Ah. Now that was fun. (tosses staple gun over shoulder)

Random Spectators 1-57: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! GO MANDA! GO MANDA!

Julia: IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, IT"S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Amanda: (bows) Thank you thank you.

Julia: Hey, where'd you get the staple gun?

Amanda: I don't know.

Julia: Alright, commercial break!

Amanda: Hurray! \

(commercial)

Announcer Lady: Do you love chapstick?

Napolean Dynamite: What's it to you? God.

Announcer Lady: Do you get headaches?

Napolean: Sometimes.

Announcer Lady: Well then you need this! (holds up pasty chapstick) It's chapstick, for your FOREHEAD!

Napolean: Sweet! Can I use it on my lips?

Announcer Lady: Uh, no.

Napolean: But my lips hurt real bad!

Announcer Lady: Yeah… Side effects may include; Sticky forehead, pasty forehead, acne, and upon consumption, rapid hair growth, nausea, muscle spasms , and Heart failure. Ask a doctor before use if you are really old, have heart problems, or nobody likes you.

(End commercial)

(Next commercial)

Sensui: I have separate personalities!

Therapist: I see (scribbles on notepad)

Sensui: I saw demons being tortured!

Therapist: And how does that make you feel?

Sensui: Bad. And I'm obsessed with this videotape! (holds up chapter black)

Therapist: Is it porn?

Sensui: No.

Therapist: Well then I have some bad news.

Sensui: What?

Therapist; There is no cure. All you can do is kill yourself. But look on the bright side, I did save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!

Sensui: You know we hate you right?

Announcer: Geico 15 minutes could save you 15 or more on car insurance.

(End commercial)

(Next commercial)

(End commercial)

Amanda: I love being able to participate.

Julia: Yeah that's great.

Amanda: Should I get the staple gun?

Julia: (shudder) Something is wrong with you.

Amanda: EVRYTHING is wrong with me!

Julia: Whatever, If you want to request a character and or death style do so by clicking the little button down there somewhere. V

Amanda: Oh, and again, I'm REALLY SORRY! My next goal is to watch those movies. (determined look)

Julia: Hey Amanda, what is you goal?

Amanda: uh… um… crap. I don't know but it was real important.

Julia: --;;;

Amanda: I kid, I kid, and I'll have to see them.

Amanda: And we're…!

Julia: STILL HERE DAMMIT!

Amanda: I know.

Julia: --;;;

Amanda: Anyway our next contestant is…

Itsuki: Hi guys!

Amanda: Hey Itsuki, I was just about to…

Youko Kurama: Oh my god! Itsuki those are MY clothes!

Julia: Guys we really have to…

Itsuki: (high girly voice)Are you saying I need to steal your bad fashion sense?

Amanda: Guys we… oh Itsuki that was bad.

Youko Kurama: (High girly voice)What did you say bitch?

Itsuki: I said those clothes are UGLY! But not as ugly as your HAIR!

Amanda: I sense danger.

Youko Kurama: Oh my god, I'm going to have a B.F.

Julia: Danger danger, the consequences will be dire!

Itsuki: A B.F.?

Amanda: A BITCH FIT! DUCK AND COVER!  
Random spectators 1-57: (Duck and cover)

Youko Kurama: (pulls Itsuki into the ring by his hair)

Itsuki: Don't pull my hair bitch! Your momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND THE HOUSE!

Youko Kurama: I know you didn't say that, cause Your momma's so ugly she could stick her head up a camel's butt and scare the hump right off it's back!

Itsuki: You didn't say that bout my momma.

Youko Kurama: What if I did?

Amanda: Danger Will Robinson!

Julia: (shudder) This could get messy. (throws on a poncho.

Itsuki: Then I did this! (pulls out scissors and cuts of a lock of Y.K.'s hair)

Youko Kurama: That's it bitch, It's GO TIME! (scratches Itsuki)

Itsuki: (scratches back) (breaks nail) Oh my god I BROKE A NAIL!

Amanda: (also has on a poncho) Ow, that's gotta hurt.

Youko Kurama: RAWR! (pounces on Itsuki)

(anime dust cloud)

Random Spectators: OW, ow, oh, OW, (whistle), oh, OH, ooooh, ahhh….

(Dust cloud disappears)

Youko Kurama: (standing alone in the ring unharmed)

Julia: Where's Itsuki?

Amanda: (points to puddle of blood and clothes) There.

Youko Kurama: (normal voice) Oh I'm sorry, You were going to announce the next contestant…?

Amanda: I was… But for get it, That was AWESOME!

Julia: --;;; (thinks) Oh Youko… (holds up forehead chapstick) If you eat it your hair might grow.

Youko Kurama: I'll take my chances without it.

Julia: Suit yourself. (sells it to old bald guy)

Amanda: And that's all for now!

Really Fast Announcer Guy: Why do I feel slightly under used? Whatever. This tournament brought to you in part by speed racer, oho.

Amanda: So I hope it didn't suck.

Julia: TT It was so beautiful.

Arielle: What was?

Amanda: ARIELLE! (hug)

Arielle: Manda I can't breathe.

Amanda: Sorry. (lets go) This is Arielle, and she helped with this chapter, she wrote the forehead chapstick commercial. And she's awesome cause even though she doesn't know what anime is, she still liked the story and helped! Give her a big round of applause!

Random Spectators 1-57: HURRAH! W00t! (applause) (cheering) YOU DA BOMB!

Arielle: ;;;

Amanda: All right, also, no announcers or announcer's friends were harmed in the making of this fic!

Julia: Amanda… There are some rabid Youko fans headed this way…

Amanda: Er… Youko's hair was not harmed in the making of this fic.

Julia: Okay they're headed next-door to a de-tox clinic, never mind.

Amanda: --;;;


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own YYH, but I DO own er… this box! (holds up invisible box) My Mime friend gave it to me! Actually, he wasn't really my friend… and he trapped me in it… and threw me in a lake, but still! It's mine now! (huggles invisible box)

Mime: (gestures angrily) (takes box)

Me: TT Oh maaaaaaaan! The box isn't mine either. TT Damn.

((I also don't own anything you've ever heard of… and possibly some of the things you haven't))

Okay, I got… (pitiful look) one request. TT That's okay though, I shall try my very hardest to come up with more characters… And since it's taken me forever, I think I need to make a list of all the deceased. ((If you reviewed at all you rule!))

**Deceased**

Bakken

Dr. Ichigaki

Elder Toguro

Kuwabara

Juri

Reisho

Karasu

Roto

Itsuki

**Soon to be deceased**

Doctor (hurray)

Ruka (da ho)

Seriyuu

Alrighty, HERE WE GOOOOO!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: And welcome back!

Julia: Yo.

Amanda: Today we-

George: Amanda! Amanda! Come quick!

Amanda: What is it George?

George: One of our contestants is in the hospital!

Julia: Who? With what?

George: It's Ruka! She's come down with herpes!

Amanda: What again?

Julia: XD

George: I'm afraid that with her other STDs it's gotten quite serious.

Amanda: I'll bet HOEitis doesn't help either

Julia: (nods wisely)

Amanda: We should visit her though.

Julia: Uh… I don't want to catch anything.

George: (nods)

Amanda: (thinks) Hmmmm…. Okay, we'll just call her when she's out.

George: Good plan.

Julia: Our First contestant for today will be…

Amanda: DOCTOR!

George: Should pull him away from Ruka's surgery?

Amanda: … Fine! Julia you announce!

Julia: She's getting surgery?

George: She's getting her uh… womanly area removed.

Amanda: (pales) Ew.

Julia: XXDD

George: (cough) Anyway, Julia, you were announcing…?

Julia: Our First contestant will be…. Seriyuu! (laughs)

Random Spectators 1-57: (are still in shock about Ruka's …. Surgery) Uh… y-yay!

Seriyuu: (Transported into ring)

Amanda: Um… Y-you're here because …

Julia: (still laughing) Because you're a bastard! (laugh)

Seriyuu: … Why are you pale, and why are you laughing?

Amanda: surgery… Ruka, oh god poor slut.

Julia: XD Ruka is getting surgery for an STD! XD

Seriyuu: (puts two and two together) (pales) Oh my.

Amanda: Yeah, anyway, choose a door. Any door.

Julia: And we'll tell you your death style.

Seriyuu: I'm gonna die?

Amanda: Yes.

Seriyuu: I pick door one.

George: You've chosen… Oh god. You've chosen death by STD!

Julia: XD Call off Ruka's surgery!

Amanda: (pales further) Nasty, nasty images, ew.

Seriyuu: … That is disgusting.

George: I have no idea who put that choice there.

Random Spectators 1-57: (nasty images) ICKY! EEEEWWWWW!

Amanda: Seriyuu, since you were a jerk to poor Byakko, We'll just have him kill you kay?

Seriyuu: (relived) That will be acceptable, but I suggest someone faster, I won't stand and be killed by a broken sword.

Amanda: Grrr…. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE!

Julia: Well you're better at least.

Amanda: DEATH BY BYAKKO ON JET POWERED ROLLERSKATES!

Seriyuu: … Fiddlesticks.

Byakko: (whooshes out and rolls over Seriyuu legs) Ha! Take that punk biatch!

Julia: (happy)

Amanda: (happy)

Seriyuu: (in pain)

Byakko: (turns Seriyuu into road kill) Revenge is sweet.

Amanda: And so are lollipops.

Julia: And now for commercials.

Amanda: Really fast announcer guy!

Really fast announcer guy: Fiddlesticks? What the hell kind of last word is 'Fiddlesticks?'

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

(commercial)

Yusuke: (thoughts) This concentration ring is awesome. I mean, it makes my spirit gun more powerful, and looks so stylish! I wish it had more moviefone dot com in it though, then I could check it for show times and even buy advanced tickets from it… This ring sucks. (pulls off ring)

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Opera Singer in Disguise: ( to the tune of that song on the ebay commercial (forget the name)) WHEEEN you can't seem to see your favorite pairings on T.V. that's on you want to read yaoi and that means boy on boy that's on also girl on boy on girl or the other way that's on today and maybe you'll say "dude plus faves " that's on I'm here too!

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Sensui: HAHAHAHAHA! I AM EVIL! HAHAHA! MY NAME IS NANCY! HAHAHA!

Itsuki: again?

Nancy: HAHAHA!

Itsuki: Evil Nancy's love Emerald Nuts.

(end commercial)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Julia: Okay, so one down, two to go.

Amanda: And I have the most diabolical plans for Ruka. (evil laugh)

Julia: What about Doctor?

Amanda: Oh, his fate is set in stone, namely, door four.

Julia: There are four now?

Amanda: No. They were just renamed.

Julia: … (headdesk)

Amanda: Anyway, our faces (sad though it is) don't work, and therefore, nobody will be able to see the 'mouth' of your next face.

Julia: 00;;;

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: (cackles evilly) BRING IN DOCTOR!

Julia: The surgery is over then?

Amanda: … Just bring him in damnit. It's been a whole commercial break.

Doctor: (magically appears)

George: Pick a door.

Doctor: … No.

George: What?

Doctor: No.

George: … Amanda? What do I do now?

Doctor: If I don't pick a door whatever is behind them will stay there.

Julia: No, if you don't pick, Amanda does.

Amanda: I lied Julia.

Julia: What?

Amanda: There is a fourth door. … It's invisible.

Julia?????

George: Yes, the secret fourth door of… non-pickness.

Julia: The secret fourth door of non-pickness? I thought that was a rumor!

Random spectators 1-57: … I'm totally lost

Amanda: Yes, Today, as by reviewer request I have stocked it with an awesome and terrible fate.

Julia: What is it? What is it? (hops around)

Amanda: George!

George: You have chosen not to choose, and therefore you have been sentenced to… DEATH BY FLYING MONKIES WITH STICKS… and a papaya.

Julia: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Awesome!

Amanda: I thought so too, now then, LET IT BEGIN!

Doctor: I knew humans were evil.

Amanda: No, we just don't like you.

Julia: (nods)

Doctor: (sigh)

(Flying monkeys with sticks fly into ring)

F.M.W.S.: HO HO HO HA HA HA! (translation: ATTACK!)

Doctor: (pales) I hate monkeys.

F.M.W.S.: (beat Doctor with sticks)

Doctor: Ow, ow, OW, OWWWWW, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!

F.M.W.S.: (throw papaya at Doctor's head)

Doctor: Crap, I'm Allergic to, papayas! (gets hit with papaya) NOOOOOO! (explodes)

Amanda: (wiping Doctor remains off face) That was SPECTACULAR!

Julia: (was smart enough to bring an umbrella) That's the best one I've seen since Roto.

Amanda: (growls at Roto's name)

George: Oh man, I'm gonna have to clean this now!

Random Spectators 1-57: (also covered in remains) WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Amanda: We'll be back after the commercials… um… Monkey brethren, will you help George clean this up?

F.M.W.S.: Ho ha ho ho ho HA ha. (translation: If you get us another papaya.)

Amanda: No problem.

F.M.W.S.: HO! (Rejoice!)

Julia: Really fast announcer guy!

Really fast announcer guy: I am he champion my friends, and I'll keep on fighting till the end. I am the champion, I am the champion, no time for losers, 'cause I am the champion … of the world. Oho.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

(commercial)

Announcer: Are you tired of the same old hott bishies on the beaches willing to bear it all for your viewing pleasure? OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT! That's why we are proud to represent the very first volume of "Bishie Beach"! Sexy young bishies getting drunk and having a good time… ON CAMERA! Must be 18 or older to order.

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Kid announcer 1: Hey kids! Guess what's finally on the shelves at your favorite music stores?

Kid Announcer 2:That's right! It's Kids Bop 17!

Kid Announcers 3-6: All of your favorite songs recorded by kids just like you! (Amanda and Julia enter)

Kid Announcer 4: What are you guys doing here?

Amanda: We're here to do something that should have been done LONG ago.

Julia: We're taking you down!

Kid Announcer 5: But why?

Julia: BECAUSE YOU'RE RUINING MY MUSIC!

Amanda: YEA! When I go to listen to a song I want it by the artist, not some snot nosed punk!

Julia: (Whistles)

Spirit Detectives: Yes ma'am!

Julia: Dispose of these good for nothings!

Spirit Detectives: Yes ma'am! (They proceed to push the Kids Bop kids off stage)

Amanda: (Taking notice of the camera) Holy shit are we on air!

Julia: Spirit Detectives! Destroy the camera!

Spirit Detectives: Yes ma'am!

(static)

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Amanda: Ok everyone.

Julia: We can only be so…creative?

Amanda: Messed up?

Julia: Something along those lines.

Amanda: Anyway our point is we need your help with commercials too.

Julia: Donate an idea to the "Save The Commercials Fund"

Amanda: Just one idea can make all the difference.

Commercials: Won't you help us? (puppy dog eyes)

(end commercial)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: Wow, Doctor got everywhere!

Julia: Yeah, he's on the crowd, on the floor, on you…

Amanda: Yeah, I'm gonna have to shower with buckets of soap after this.

Julia: Please do.

Amanda: So anyway, it's Easter. Happy easter people who celebrate it!

Julia: Yes, enjoy your chocolate rabbits and such.

Amanda: Sure they're chocolate … now. (evil laugh)

Julia: (pales)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: And now for the final death this chapter….

Julia: RUKA!

Random Spectators 1-57: YAY!

Amanda: So people, Ruka has just recovered from her STD surgery.

Julia: I hear they had a small follow up surgery to help her cope.

Amanda: I'm suddenly afraid.

Ruka: Afraid of what?

Amanda: (looks at Ruka) EEEEEK!

Julia: (green) Oh my god.

Ruka: (is bald, wearing slutty clothes, and has a huge scar around her entire stomach … a nasty purple one) What? I look good!

Amanda: Scar, ew.

Julia: (has turned and is throwing up)

Ruka: Psh, you wouldn't know good if it hit you in the face. I mean, look at you, short-sleeved shirt and shorts? You're covering like, all your skin!

Amanda: BECAUSE I'M NOT A SLUT!

Julia: (still barfing) (holds up hand)

Amanda: (hi fives Julia's hand)

Ruka: Psh. I'm still hotter than you. In fact, I'm hotter than both of you combined.

Amanda: S-sure, just, pick a door so we can kill you and get this over with.

Ruka: Fine, I pick the last two doors.

Julia: (done puking and now wearing blindfold) Can she do that?

Amanda: (thinks) (grins) Yes, yes she can. George!

George: (pouring holy water into his eyes) Um, you've won death by jackets and… Oh I see where this is going. Death by jackets and death by Bishie!

Ruka: J-jackets? (sways)

Amanda: (laughing) It's what you get!

Julia: How are Bishies torture?

Amanda: The ones we picked are very, very honest.

Julia: (thinks) Oooooooh! (smiles)

Ruka: J-jackets?

Amanda: BRING IN THE BISHIES!

(Yusuke, Hiei, Touya, and Jin walk down from stands)

Random spectators 1-57: YEEEEAH BISHIES!

Ruka: (forgets about jackets) MEN! (rushes over to them)

Yusuke: Holy- Lady you are UGLY!

Ruka: Fine, I'm sure these handsome-

Hiei: (is about to faint) Woman, please, put on some clothes or something, your scar looks like it's going to attack.

Ruka: (scoffs) Fine! You're to short for me anyway.

Hiei: (is already passed out)

Hiei fangirls: NOOOOOOOO!

Amanda: Please wait, she'll be dead soon.

Julia: (lifts up corner of blindfold) Oh, poor Hiei.

Jin: Hey Touya look! It's that lady from the tournament! You know, the one you said looked like a whore?

Touya: (whistles innocently)

Ruka: So, either one of you handsome bishonen want to come back to my apartment?

Jin: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Look Touya, she tells jokes! Tell us another!

Touya: … Why?

Ruka: For action of course! You know, you, me, the mattress…

Jin: (still laughing) That was even better!

Touya: Ew. Um… d-didn't you have that removed?

Ruka: Hm? Oh yeah, but Doctor installed a tube for me so I can still whore around.

Jin: (stops laughing) That's nasty lady! Touya, let's go, I don't want to catch any of her diseases.

Touya: (already slowly backing away) L-look lady, I-I'm sure there's … Okay so nobody in the world will ever think you're hot … JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! (runs away)

Ruka: N-nobody? No, no, it's not possible! (looks at self in conveniently placed mirror) NOOOOOO!

Julia: I hope Touya is alright.

Amanda: He'll be okay, he's awesome.

Julia: And why wasn't Kurama down there?

Amanda: He's much too nice.

Julia: True. So, she's weakened. How will we dispose of her?

Amanda: Oh yeah, DROP THE COATS!

(Plane flies over and drops coats into stadium)

Random Spectators 1-57: oOo Hey look at that nice green one!

Ruka: (looks away from mirror) (sees coats) AHHHHH! DECENT CLOTHING! RUN AWAY!

(Brown coat falls on Ruka)

Ruka: AAAAAAHHHHHH! It's got me!

(Blue coat falls on Ruka)

Ruka: AAAAAHHHHHH!

(several other coats fall on Ruka)

Ruka: NOOOOO! (dies)

Julia: YES!

Random spectators 1-57: YES!

Amanda: YES!

Koolaid guy: OH YEAH!

(fur coat falls into Coolaid guy's head)

Koolaid guy: OH NO! (also dies)

Amanda: … Whatever.

Julia: Yeah… SO! Really fast announcer guy, take it away!

Really fast announcer guy: This fic brought to you in part by Speed Racer, Oho. And I guess this means no more Koolaid. Damn.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: So there you go people.

Julia: Yep.

Amanda: I hope nobody was overly attached to Seriyuu or Ruka.

Julia: (laughs)

Amanda: (laughs) As if right!

(a few die-hard Ruka/Seriyuu fans cry)

Amanda: Anyway, I have to go to fiddle camp in like 2 days, so, I won't be able to update for a while.

Julia: Because this update was SOOOOO fast.

Amanda: Oh shut up! Kingdom Hearts 2 is addictive!

Julia: True, true.

Amanda: So I'll write more when I get back from Louisiana, land of Cajun music, spicy food, and … more Cajun music

Julia: (salutes) And I'll try not to play KH2 while you're gone.

Amanda: (Hugs Julia) Oh and before I forget, (hugs readers)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own rights to YYH or anything YYH related. I don't own the junk in the commercials. And, I do not own a single shred of sanity. TT But that's why I love me.

Amanda: Hey people!

Julia: Yeah, Amanda wants to say something important.

Amanda: Yes, my sense of humor is kinda... really perverted at times. I probably should have told you all before.

Julia: ... I already knew.

Amanda: You don't count stupid!

Julia: Excuse me? Who is stupid?

Amanda: Right, s-sorry. (runs away)

Julia: Anyway, This time we'll be killing...

The teachers.

Koenma

And a very special guest!

We will put in the suggested commercial, thanks guys!

Amanda: (skitters back) I LOOOOOVE YOOOOU! (glomps readers)

Julia: Let's begin shall we?

Amanda: (nods)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: Welcome back faithful readers!

Julia: Yes, so shall we start right in with the killing?

Amanda: ... Where's the fun in that?

Julia: That's what we're supposed to do you fool.

Amanda: Oh yeah! (laughs)

Julia: Our first contestants are... Iwamoto (glasses) and Akashi (rat in disguise... a bad disguise)

Iwamoto: Yusuke's mother is a whore!

Random Spectators 1-57: (shocked gasps)

Yusuke: I'll kill you!

Akashi: I changed Kuwabara's test answers!

Random Spectators 1-57: (shocked gasps)

Kuwaba: (magically alive again) Why you...!

Amanda: Now boys, they're right (holds up giant sign that says 'I'm so sorry guys')

Julia: We've brought these wonderful men here to have a competition!

Akashi: Can I have some cheese?

Amanda: (stares) Are you a mouse?

Akashi: No, I'm a rat.

Amanda: (nudges Julia) You owe me 50 bucks.

Julia: (sigh) (gives Amanda cash and Akashi cheese)

Amanda: Anyway! We're going to have you have a cometition! It involves peas and your nose.

Iwamoto: If I lose it's Yusuke's fault!

Julia: (eye twitches) Yes, yes it's Yusuke's fault. We're going to see who can shove the most peas up their nose!

Iwamoto: This is stupid! I won't do it!

Amanda: The loser dies!

Iwamoto: Let's get started!

Julia: Okay. George!

George: (flops a random table on the floor and puts two bowls of peas on it)

Julia: And... START!

(Iwamoto and Akashi start shoving peas into their noses)

Akashi: My nose is bigger than yours!

Iwamoto: I'll bet it's thinner though!

Random Spectators 1-57: (don't know who to cheer for) Go um... er... Akashi I guess!

Akashi: Hah! They like me better!

Amanda: (mutters) That's because you're not human.

Julia: (pokes Amanda) Be quiet, this is interesting!

Amanda: (sighs)

Iwamoto: (shoves a pea into his brain) ARGH! (dies)

Amanda:Wow, it IS interesting!

Julia: See?

Akashi: Does this mean I win?

Amanda:WAIT! George?

George: You're not gonna make me count them are you?

Amanda: ... I'm not doing it.

George: (sighs) (pulls peas out of Iwamoto's nose) 16,000!

Akashi: (pales) I, I can fit more I swear!

Amanda: How many do you have?

George: (pulls peas out of Akashi's nose) 4!

Random Spectators 1-57: ... Akashi is lame man.

Julia: Sorry, YOU LOSE! (pushes button)

Akashi: (explodes)

Amanda: Exploding cheese, the best mouse trap in the world!

Julia: (nods)

George: But how did you know he would lose?

Amanda: We didn't. We would have blown him up anyway.

Julia: Duh.

George: Oh. (laughs) Good plan.

Amanda: Really fast announcer guy?

Really fast announcer guy: This fic brought to you in part by Amanda's sick and twisted imagination.

Amanda: (stares)

Really fast announcer guy: (sigh) And speed racer, Oho.

Julia: Commercial time!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

(commercial)

(Amanuma is sitting in the car with Rinku, they both have lollypops. A kangaroo comes out of nowhere)

Kangaroo: Try a push pop!

Amanuma: (stares blankly at Kangaroo)

Rinku: How did you get in this car?

Kangaroo: (thinks) I broke in I guess.

Rinku: ... (hits Kangaroo with Yo-yo)

Kangaroo: (knocked out)

Amanuma: (rolls down window and pushes the Kangaroo out)

Rinku: Pixie stick?

Amanuma: Sure!

Announcer: Pixie stix man, sugar in a tube.

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Botan: I love my cell phone, I do, but i hate when my network (silently) DROPS THE CALL! It makes me CRAZY! (with sound again) So I switched my network to (a giant block with 'call' written on it falls on Botan's head)

Announcer: Drop us and we'll really drop a call.

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Koto: (puts money into vending machine) (out comes a packet strappleberry juicy fruit)

Juri: (hops out of nowhere and grabs the gum) MINE!

Koto: (smashes Juri's skull in with microphone) WRONG!

Announcer: Juicy fruit is good for you... unless you try to steal it.

(end commercial)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: Okay people, I think I've dried up all my resources. I'm scrapin' the barrel here.

Julia: (actually scraping a barrel out with a spoon) Um... we've got... um... no ideas left.

Amanda: (sigh) See what I mean? We love you for your reviews and stuff, but my muses are mad at me for working them overtime. (puppy face to muses) (muses ignore puppy face)

Julia: And the point of this note is...

Amanda: I'm basically saying that this will probably be the last chapter.

Julia: BUT! (ignores Amanda's suprise) If the inspiration hits?

Amanda: (glares at Julia and hopes muses don't hate her) T-then I guess... I guess I'd have to write.

Julia: (is proud)

Amanda: (sigh) Whatever. NEXT BIT!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Julia: Well then people, Now we're gonna bring out our special guest!

George: (looks around) Where's Amanda?

Julia: Her muses are beating her up.

George: ... They live in her head.

Julia: I never said it was possible, I just said it was happening.

George: (is confused)

Julia: Anyway, our special guest!

(Kuwabara appears in puff of smoke)

Julia: So Kuwa, you must know why you're here.

Kuwabara: Why? Y-you already killed me!

Julia: ... Reviewer requests.

Kuwabara: Oh. Okay.

Julia: Door?

Kuwabara: Um... 5.

Julia: George?

George: You have chosen, death by... JUNK MAIL!

Kuwabara: Huh?

Julia: (presses a button on her keyboard) See ya Kuwa. (waves)

Kuwabara: Wait! (is virtualized) What the hell is going on?

Julia: Spectators, THE INTERACTIVE PORTION!

Random spectators 1-57: YAAAAAAAAYYYY! (pull out laptops and start spamming)

(A little email icon appears on the screen)

Kuwabara: (walks over to it and pokes it)

Mail: YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO-

Kuwabara: (closes window) Gezz, that was scary! (looks around) (there are millions of little mail icons) Uh oh.

Mail #2: ENLARGE YOUR-

Kuwabara: AHHHHHH! (runs around the screen and bangs into email icons)

Mail #3; FREE PILLS FOR-

Mail # 4: j00 n33d pr0n!

Mail# 5???????

Kuwabara: AHHHH! (stops running) Uh oh, there's nowhere left to run. The emails are everywhere!

Julia: Aaaaand, George?

George: (sends email)

Kuwabara: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (is crushed by email)

Julia: (bows respectfully and drags Kuwabara's body to the trashcan icon) Reviewer request. (is sad)

George: Well, are you going to go to the commercials now?

Amanda: Huh? I missed Kuwa?

Julia: Yeah, he's gone.

Amanda: (sigh) Well, at least he's in a better... um... file or something.

Julia: (nods)

Amanda: Really fast announcer guy?

Really fast announcer guy: (singing) Another one bites the dust...(stops) What?

Amanda: Commercials!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

(commercial)

Amanda: (eating ramen) Yummy! Wait! OMG! INSPIRATION!

Julia: Ramen is good for your muses.

Amanda: (to twinkle twinkle little star) Eat your ramen every day, and your fics won't go away

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Waiter: Anything for dessert?

Rita: No thanks, we're good.

Melvin: (stepping out of scene) Melvin isn't good. Melvin's stomach wants Terimissu-

Sniper: (walks in and shoots everyone) Oh, um... nobody saw that. (runs away)

(end commercial)

(commercial)

Random guy: I'm wearing TAG!

Lady: OMG! You're sexy! (jumps on guy)

Random Announcer: Warning, the makers of TAG body spray wish it to be known that AXE pwns TAG and you're more likely to get jumped when wearing AXE because of this. Buy our sucky deoderant.

(end commercial)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: Well I have to break the news to Julia I guess.

Julia: What news?

Amanda: ... NOTHINGGOAWAY!

Julia: (question mark) What is your problem?

Amanda: ... I um... God peopleI loooove this fic I do! (cries)

Julia: What is everybody talking about?

Amanda: I'll try, I will. I will ignore the muses!

Amanda's muses: Fucking bitch! (grumble and conspire)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amanda: And now, the moment I've been dreading... KOENMA!

Julia: Why?

Amanda: Because, I've realized something, he's like, the prince of Spirit World.

Julia: ... And?

Amanda: His father is going to be mad at us.

Julia: Oh. Yeah, um, maybe we could skip-

Amanda: NO! We've come to far! I'm sorry Lord Enma, but, your son's deat was requested by the reviewers, I'm just doing my job.

Julia: (shakes head) Whatever. Just go.

Amanda: KOENMA, COME ON DOWN!

Koenma: Yo.

Amanda: Well Koenma... we're going to kill you now.

Koenma: (laughs) Funny, dad will kill you!

Julia: I'm trying to-

Amanda: Laugh while you can binkie breath!

Koenma: Hey! It's stylish, and has powers.

Julia: Amanda we shouldn't-

Amanda: It's a stupid blue binkie!

Koenma: Don't knock it till you've tried it!

Julia: Ama-

Amanda: (jumps into the ring and snatches Koenma's binkie) HA!

Koenma: NO! I need it to breathe!

Julia: I'm warn-

Amanda: (shrugs) Just doing my job. Bye bye binkie! (feeds binkie to rabid Koenma fans)

Koenma: (turning blue) Oh no...

Amanda: Byeeeee Koenmaaaa.

Koenma: (dies from lack of air)

Julia: YOU'VE BROUGHT KING ENMA'S WRATH UPON US YOU STUPID- wait, what's tht sound?

Amanda: The Koenma fans are coming to get us too.

Julia: (pales) We're so dead.

Amanda: (nods) Well, that's it for now, BYE GUYS!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Julia: I have a requesssst!

Amanda: Huh?

Julia: I. have. a. request.

Amanda: Well let's hear it! (thinking) 'Well this'll make any readers happy... I hope'

Julia: (tells Amanda idea)

Amanda's Muses: (watching what happens) Oh man. So much freaking work.

Amanda: YES! I LOVE IT! (glomps Julia) You rock!

Julia: I know.

Amanda: Review with ideas, please save our fic!

Julia: Say what now?

Amanda: (sweatdrop) Gottagobye! (runs away)


End file.
